The two strategies we mostly use in our relationships are dysfunctional and create pain in us and others.
Check them out and see if they apply to any of your relationships.
Presented by Luis Angel Diaz, who is the founder of the Cellular Memory Release-CMR process. Also author of the book “Memory in the cells, how to heal behavioral patterns and release the pain body”
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In awareness and healing,
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Thankyou for allowing this sharing. I am most definitely on the “authentic” side. I have no problem “expressing”. I have been told repeatedly that I share too much. At times I can be compassionate but I am not consistent. When it works, here’s what happens: I am able to view the other person in the “oneness” with me and all. I see no separation. It is as though we “melt” in togetherness. It is a beautiful feeling, but fleeting for me so far.
The above is what I am aiming for in my communications with all my brothers and sisters. Sounds simple; not easy though with our childhood and societal conditioning. Also applying the principles in A Course in Miracles is most helpful.
Blessings to All.
Thank you Carmelina for your sharing.
Valuable description of compassion…!
Your topic and presentation was very interesting to view and see. Thank you.
I’m still brooding over it, and wondering about it. I can only respond by saying ultimately when I am relating to the world (either compassionately or authenically) I am relating to myself… and maybe I need to examine what payoffs I get for doing what I do?
I love your expressions about trust in this presentation
Luis, I can’t view the video…it says that I need to accept a friend request. I don’t see that on this page. Anyone?
Try it now terry…
Thank you for this video. In the past I often wondered why people seemed to be afraid of me when’all I did was being honest’… on the other side in working as a coach I ask permission to be very direct AND listen with great care and compassion and get wonderful results… I think it may be our assumptions and needs beneath the expressed (conscious) level of communication that cause the problems. When I need nothing from the person I am authentic with there is no problem and often the other person finds the courage to be authentic also. As I become aware of my needs and assumptions (beliefs) I am somehow also more sensitive to the needs of the other person and if they are in a state of fear or trust – kind of a by product. (just an off the cuff comment) <3
Thank you for this insight or reflection… I have in the past been living in the compasionate way for years with the intention of creating harmony situations at the expense of denying my own feelings, yet I considered myself being authentic and when that needed to come out the conflicts arose. I wonder if the problem is the balance and maturity within the relation??? Yet I truly believe in both cases I was relating somehow to myself, as Boris said, in his comments.. I wonder if it is posible that sometimes the challenge is to let your self be and just observe your reactions and your growth? I would like to hear more from this subject!!! It is fascinating!!!!!!!!!! Thanks again!
Thank you all for your participation!
I will come back with more time tomorrow, but I want to extract this sentence from Kathrin:
“When I need nothing from the person I am authentic with there is no problem and often the other person finds the courage to be authentic also”
I like that! Having an agenda gets in the way absolutely!
Thank you for articulating this conflict so well. I too vascillate between both sides and find no harmony on either side. Compassion seems to require the least effort initially, but comes at the highest cost as my truth gets comprised.
I think Kathrin makes a great point when she speaks of not needing something from the other. Although I believe we always want something from the other – not needing approval or control of what they think of us – liberates us and liberates them. So in my process Im going to look at the process of releasing the need to to get approval and/or control from other. Specially in relationships where emotional intimacy is desired.
Thank you Luis for this thought provoking & enlightening discussion. It’s soothing just to listen to your voice 🙂 It made me realize that I spend most of my time in the compassion camp and my 7 year old feisty spirited daughter spends her time in the honesty camp. It has been hard for her and she has experienced quite a bit of rejection in relationships because she is so open about her thoughts & emotions and yet she is a great teacher to me who as a child myself very quietly sat on the fence trying to keep harmony with everyone (which of course doesnt work in the long run). The way I look at it is that we are all of the same Universal/God Energy and so when there is conflict in any shape or form I need to look at the Jo part of God that is the current me and look at the eg Luis part of God that is also me and and see what aspect of that is the bit that needs healing or understanding. A bit like the ho’oponopono concept I guess. When we are able to fully express ourselves and fully listen to others at the same time and accept where each of us is at, free of judgement, it’s a very uplifting feeling. It feels like soul meets soul and it is an enjoyable journey looking out for ‘soul pop-up times’. I really appreciated your video, thank you for sharing.
Hi your video is something that apparantely appear very simple and clear
but when one starts to get into become confused most of the time Isee myself
acting in a compassion way probably because I don’t find the way to declare
my real opinion and often I say yes instead of I ‘m sorry no b u t Ihave a limit
when I overall the limit -just because I am not used to be clear I say the true
and often and I’m not nice afterword i feel shy….of course this create a glacy
period in myself .
For the first time you send to me something that is very difficult to understand. I believe people in Finland are very honest to show how they feel. But look at the history of our nation! It has not been easy or natural or safe to do so.
As far as I could understand it was a question of showing real feelings and a question of honesty in every day life. You see. It was a little bit of difficult for me to understand. Or maybe it brought to me some painful memories from my past. Once again – mostly of the time when I was married.
I got married 20 years ago. I devorced 10 years ago. Now I start a new life, a better life. After 20 years of hell.
Should I say: thank you for bringing me the painful memories. Now I can throw it away from my mind. From my body, too?
I see you as one of the Angels who is helping me. And I love to call you “Angel”. It is so true.
Thank you for this message and make me feel better next time!
(Can you feel this smile on my face?)
Luis, you are so succinct in your communication. Thank you for this much needed information. I like the videos you’re sending around. Keep up the good work . . . as usual.
Thank you Tabatha!
Thank you, Luis, for YOUR compassion for all of us who have been given the opportunity to listen to your wisdom. Please keep up your amazing work.
Thank you Sheridan!
Thanks for sending that video! I have occasionally pondered over that question and feel it’s a good one. In one of my classes at school where we practice sensitivity training in groups (called T-groups), the goal is to practice speaking our truth with compassion. I have yet to take this class, but in my experience exploring this in other settings, it seems to me that a helpful question to ask that can guide one’s direction in a relationship is, “what will most serve us right now?” There are times when honesty and directness can really help someone if they are needing that, and other times when it could be hurtful/inappropriate. I think if you have a clear sense of what will truly help it makes it easier to know what to share and what to hold back.
Thanks again for creating that video — it was helpful for me to reflect on this question!
I believe there must be a balance between the two. In order to be truly compassionate, you must be authentic. I have found through my own experience that if you are not true to yourself and your boundaries, you cannot really feel true compassion for another human being because you have not learned how to have compassion towards yourself. While you are busy creating the illusion of being a caring and compassionate individual, you are accumulating resentments along the way. These resentments create toxicity in your life and you are left wondering where you went wrong. The authenticity has to come first, true compassion and a balance between the two will naturally follow.
Thank you Shawna, great piece!
Thanks for this video, it reminds me the power of NonViolent communication, which is a way to be totally compassionate AND honest at the same time. Two places I receive training on this are at: http://www.cnvc.org and http://www.nvctraining.com, I’m convinced your approach and the NVC approach are combinable.
Thank you so much for your video touching on this delicate dance of commune-icating with others. It is from precisely that word “commune” that I wish to speak to. I believe, and practice to the best of my ability in my human-ness, authentically speaking my truth yet in a way that is eloquently compassionate, or politely professional, dependind upon the situation. When we “commune” we are joining in an energetic or spirit sensing way. I find that there are times when there is divergence of dialogue when there is lack of resonance on an energetic/vibrational level. I do my best to recognize this being conciously cognizant of the fact that we are sometimes operating at many different levels in our daily interactions with others. Keeping this in mind, I can be less defensive when considering the needs/expressions of others versus my own in realizing that we may have different paths to pursue as well as being in a different place on our individual journeys. To sum it up, sometimes those we encounter are not in a place where they can recognize our dialogue, as well as the reverse being true. This is like the “tribes” of old. You had a tribe with whom you “belonged”. While we are a “universal tribe” in the largest sense, sometimes we must simply start right where we are to try and effect change in our world. The best way I can do that is to begin within myself and my own “output” of love, thus awakening to that “love” those that are ready to change and grow alongside me. I just simply try to recognize that place (namaste) in each one while speaking my “truth” and protecting my energetic wellbeing. To not always be in tandem is perfectly fine, as I recognize I must not always feel I need to make everything “okay” nor always be “defending” my beliefs or values.
I am so excited about your work and hope to take some online courses, or perhaps a “live” workshop at some point. Your genuine spirit comes through and I applaud you for what you are bringing to awareness!
Thank you Sherree for your words and your contribution to this discussion.
I found that embodiment makes a big difference in the way I communicate.
It works for me!