Earlier this week I had the great pleasure of co-hosting another free webinar with Luis Angel Diaz, who is the creator of the Cellular Memory Release process of healing, and author of the #1 seller Memory in the Cells: how to change behavioral patterns and release the pain body.

This webinar was called “Transforming Personal Relationships”, and it was the first in a series of free monthly webinars I will be co-hosting for Luis in 2011 dedicated solely to the topic of relationships.

As this was the first in the series, we did not focus on one specific kind of relationships, but rather took a broad overview of relationships in general. In the coming months, we will go into detail with different kinds of relationships, i.e., intimate, parental, business, friend, etc.

The premise of Luis’ teachings during the webinar is that the foundation of healthy relationships is connection, and that connection can only occur when these 4 key values are present:

1. Trust
2. Honesty
3. Respect
4. Equality

He went on to explain that if we focus on trying to find or instil these qualities in the other person in our relationship, we will never create connection, because we are seeing them as the “problem” and thus as being outside and separate from ourselves. The message Luis kept saying throughout the broadcast was that the ultimate answer to ANY question you might have about improving your personal relationships is “Do YOUR inner work.”

In other words, when we work on our relationships solely with the goal of connection in our minds and hearts, and build trust, honesty, respect and equality in our relationship with ourselves first and foremost, then we will see major shifts in how our interpersonal relationships manifest in our lives.

One of Luis’ ideas I found to be unique was the concept of “rescuing”. He said that if we are playing the role of either the rescuer OR the rescued in our relationships (and sometimes we dance backwards and forwards between the two, even within one relationship), then we are creating inequality, and thus disconnection. The ways we “rescued” or wait to “be rescued” are very subtle, and Luis has 6 sets of exercises we can use to “test” how much we play these roles in our current relationships. Because the call was only 90 minutes, and we were covering other topics as well, we only had time to discuss 2 of these 6 exercises, which I’d like to share with you here:

Personal Rescuing Barometer Test

Rescue Test 1: Doing for others

Step 1: First, ask yourself the following 3 questions and write your answers down in a notebook or journal. Take your time and really allow the answers to come honestly.

1. What do I do for others that they can do for themselves?
2. What do I allow others to do for me that I can do for myself?
3. Where in my life do I expect others to do things for me?

Instructions 2: After you have written your answers, read the comments below to give you insight into where you are playing the rescuer or the rescued in your relationships:

Comments:

1. When I habitually do things for others that they can do for themselves, I am playing the role of the rescuer.
2. When I habitually allow others to to do things for me that I could do for myself, I am playing the role of the rescued.
3. When I expect others to do things for me in my life, I am wishing to be rescued.
4. The ultimate result of this kind of rescuing, whether you are the rescued or the rescuer is resentment. Resentment creates more disconnection.

Rescue Test 2: Expressing Thoughts and Feelings

1. Where in my life do I not express my true thoughts and feelings to others?
2. Where in my life do others seem not express their truths to me?
3. Where in my life do I expect or require others not share their thoughts and feelings with me?

Comments:

1. When I do not express my true thoughts and feelings, it can be because I am avoiding making others feel angry, upset, disappointed, insecure, etc. When this happens, I am playing the role of the rescuer because I “rescue” others from the experience of hearing my truth.
2. When others do not freely express their truths to me, it can be because they are trying to protect me from experiencing their truth. When this happens, I am playing the role of the rescued, because others sense that I do not feel strong enough to handle the truth.
3. When I do not allow others to express their truth, I am wishing to be rescued from experiencing their truth.
4. If there is not truth, there cannot be trust. The ultimate result of this kind of rescuing is mistrust, which brings more disconnection.

This FR*EE webinar “Transforming Personal Relationships” took place on Tuesday February 8th, but you can still download the audio from the call if you go to https://old.cellularmemory.org/landing/webinar-2011-feb08-signup.html (ignore it if it says the audio is available for 48 hours; it IS still available).

If you register, you’ll also be kept informed about the whole series of free webinars we are presenting. Next month’s topic on March 1st is Intimate Relationships. I don’t think you’ll want to miss that one! Bring your friends (or partners!) along to listen in.

AND… because so many people have asked how to take this further, Luis has created a wonderful progression of courses that can take you all the way from beginner to facilitator in the CMR process. The entry level course is starting very soon:

CMR Fundamentals

Starting in March 17, this 3-month online course that gives you a solid background in the healing processes of CMR and Pain Body Release (PBR) for the purpose of personal healing, whether in your relationships with others or with yourself.

Some partial scholarships are available to those in financial need.

To register for Luis Diaz’s CMR Fundamentals so you can learn the complete method for “doing the inner work” in your life and relationships, click HERE.